Spicks and Specks
by XxXxHell's AngelxXxX
Summary: All the Cracks and Dirt on all of Konoha's very own Ninja. Shikamaru a evil mastermind, Kankuro wearing a dress? Anything can happen in Konoha! And it's all in this story. -No Flames-


**Spicks and Specks**

 **DarkAnubis'sShadow**

 **Summery: All the Cracks and Dirt on all of Konoha's very own Ninja. Shikamaru a evil mastermind, Kankuro wearing a dress? Anything can happen in Konoha! And it's all in this story.**

" **I will never go back on my word. Because that is my Shinobi Way." – Uzumaki Naruto**

Prologue : Intoductions First

Hey, all of you.

Yes. YOU.

My name is Anko Mitarashi, and you're reading Spicks and Specks.

This is the story were me and my partner in crime, Hatake , get all the dirt ,gossip ,laughs, abnormal behaviour, you name it. We get it all. Over to you Hatake.

 _Yo. My name is Kakashi, not 'Hatake' An-_

Hatake is your last name, douchebag.

 _You know what I mean._

Whatever. This first chapter is on the number one hyperactive, loud-mouthed, idiotic ,annoying, colour blind-

 _Anko._

Alright. Now that you know who we are, we begin on Naruto Uzumaki, or Konoha's orange idiot.

 _Anko._

Alright, let's start.

-0-

 **Chapter 1: Naruto Uzumaki and the Ramen Disaster.**

 **Name: Naruto Uzumaki**

 **Parents: Kushina Uzumaki, Minato Namikaze**

 **Abnormal Behaviour: Hyperactive , Colour Blind**

 **Diseases: None**

 **Other : Obessive Complex. Object of Obsessiveness: RAMEN.**

Naruto walked down from his home onto the main street of Konoha.

Today was a good day.

The sun was shining, and it just felt _right._

 _Just right._

Naruto, you wait and see. Wait and see.

 _Shut up, Anko. People are trying to read the comedy. Not you chatting._

Whatever.

He was headed for the somewhat 'best' ramen shop in Konoha.

It was the ONLY ramen shop in Konoha City.

No wonder he loves it.

Anyway, he was heading towards…

Dun Dun Dun…

Ichiraku.

Big surprise.

He skipped down the road looking like a little girl who just got a lollipop.

As soon as he reached his destination, you could practically hear his GPS saying, " You have arrived at your destination. "A smile broke out on his face, as Ichiraku was within his range of eyesight.

He ran over to Ichiraku, and grabbing one of the high-seats on the counter, her quickly opened his menu.

Once he had saw his favourite ramen was on a discount, he yelled "YESSSSSS!" and he looked around for his 56th favourite guy in the world. Ramen guy.

"Hey, RamenGuy! I would like a Miso and Pork Large please!"

Spoken person looked around and caught the smiling blonde's eye.

"Naruto, did you read the menu properly? " Ichiraku's owner said.

The grin disappeared as he re-opened the menu and checked the item he had attempted to order.

His face was replaced with a look of sheer horror.

"WHAT?! IT'S NOW MISO AND _**BEEF**_!?"

" Yeah, not many people were buying it, that's why. Except you of course"

"?£$%&^*! 3$£$%$%$? " Naruto uttered a rainbow of words that shouldn't be printed on the page.

Everyone stared at Naruto having a fit.

Ramen Guy flinched.

"B-But, N-Naruto-"

Gods, he sounded like Haniko that day.

 _It's Hinata._

How was I supposed to know that, eh?

 _By paying attention to the students you tortured in the forest of death._

Oh, she was in the Chuunin Exams?

 _Yup. How else would you know her name started with 'h' ?_

Oh.

" NO BUTS, RAMEN GUY. I WILL SET THIS PLACE RIGHT FOR ONCE AND FOR ALL."

Twitch.

" Y-You might w-want to k-know m-my name is T-Teuchi. "

" VERY INTRESTING. I WANT YOU TO MAKE ME 10 BOWLS OF MISO AND **PORK** RAMEN."

" H-Hai, Naruto."

" IT'S NARUTO- **SAMA** TO YOU, MAGGOTS."

All the people that worked in Ichiraku did the good guy pose, and shouted "HAI, NARUTO-SAMA!

Naruto grinned evilly and said " That's more like it."

"WHAT?! NARUTO HAS TAKEN OVER ICHIRAKU?"

"H-Hai, Tsunade-sama." Gosh, Shizune sounded like Hani-Hinata, then.

" Well, call Sakura over. She'll beat him up."

"Hai."

" Ayame, take Ayumi to buy some pork. Kado, go and prepare some Miso soup."

"Hai, Naruto-sama!"

Suddenly the door burst open.

" **NAAARRRUUUTTOOOOO!"**

And Hell broke lose.

"S-Sakura-chan?"

This time it was Naruto's turn to stutter.

"ALL RIGHT, NARUTO, YOU BRING THIS PLACE BACK TO NORMAL. NOW."

" B-But I n-need my r-ramen!"

Sakura growled.

"Forget the ramen. It's your life you want to save."

Naruto gulped.

Then the door opened, _again._

This time it was Ayame and Ayumi, with 2 kg of fresh pork.

" Excellent girls, now meet with Kado, I want my r-"

"NARUTO!"

" I-I mean, just put it in stock, ok? And make me some next time."

Sakura walked over to Ayame and Ayumi. She puta good girl smile on her face and said, " Now girls, let's put this pork away, shall we? "

She led the girls away, to the back of Ichiraku.

Everyone sweatdropped.

Sakura came back and dropped her smile.

She grabbed Naruto's collar, and whispered, " _You are so dead after this."_

And out they went.

Hey, Hatake, don't you think we should put this on TV?

 _Forget it, Anko, or should I say, Mitarashi._

Meh.

 _You are not going to advertise my students on live TV._

Whatever you say. Naruto's advertising Ichiraku.

 _Huh?_

 **Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki, and my favourite ramen is from Ichiraku! It's cheap, delicious,delicious,delicious,del-**

 **CUT!**

"You forgot the list of options, didn't you?"

"Um…"

 **No flames, this story will be continued, every chapter will be a different character.**

 **Flames will be used to burn the reviews that are unkind^^**

 **Next up- Sasuke Uchiha:Tomatoid**

 **DarkAnubis'sShadow**


End file.
